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In December 2004, my beloved Mother was diagnosed with lung cancer and a brain tumor. For the next four months she endured biopsies, pneumonia, brain surgery, radiation treatments and countless hours of rehabilitation. I took on the role of her patient advocate as well as her caretaker. From the very beginning, I made a pledge to be with her everyday, no matter what, while still trying to work full time and maintain my relationship with my husband.
In March 2005, we were told by Mom’s doctors that her conditional was terminal in spite of her courageous fight. Respecting Mom’s wishes, my siblings and I made arrangements to bring her home for her final weeks. Mom had good days as well as bad while in the comfort of her own home with her family around her. I knew that at some point, I would have to arrange for Hospice to come in to assist us when her condition became worse.
When I was with Mom during those days I would remind her that Spring was upon us and that it would soon be time for the two of us to sit out on the patio and enjoy the warmer weather. In fact, we decided to make that our goal... to have our time outside in the sun on the next warm day.
My husband and I had a vacation planned for that April, but I was convinced that we would have to cancel our plans because I just couldn’t consider leaving Mom at that time. My brothers and sister insisted that we still go. They felt as though the break would be beneficial for me. The guilt I felt was overwhelming but, because of their promise to alert me of any changes in Mom’s condition, I reluctantly agreed to go.
The night before we were to leave, I spent with Mom. She had a pretty good day and was sitting up in a chair. When it was time for me to go, I leaned over and told her that I was leaving the next day and that I felt badly that I wouldn’t be with her for a week. She told me not to worry and to go and enjoy my vacation. It was at that time that I asked her to promise me that when I returned that she and I would finally have that time on the patio. She told me that she just couldn’t imagine that happening. I told her I wouldn’t leave until she promised me that we would do just that. I said "Please Mom, promise me that when I get back, you and I will sit out on the patio, just the two of us, and enjoy the beautiful weather." She told me that she would try very hard to make it happen. That night, I prayed to God that Mom could keep her promise.
In less than 24 hours after arriving in Florida, I received a call from my sister telling me that Mom had taken a turn for the worse. She had called in Hospice and they advised the family that Mom had less that 48 hours to live. We immediately flew back to New Jersey and I was lucky enough to be with Mom for her last hours. On April 19, 2005 Mom passed peacefully surrounded by her children.
My siblings and I made all the necessary arrangement for the funeral and so forth. My sister and her husband along with my husband and I went to my house to rest, unwind and reflect. The weather was exceptionally warm that week. We all sat out on the patio for a while. One by one they each started going into the house and I found myself sitting alone. It was then that I saw something that I had never seen before. There was a blue butterfly that was flying around me and then landed on the chair across from me. It would just perch itself on the back of the chair and flutter it’s wings, as though it wanted me to notice it. When I would look directly at it, it would then start to fly around me again and then land on the same spot on the chair. For some odd reason, I asked "Mom, is that you?" It just fluttered its wings. I then said "Mom, if that is you, please give me a sign." Then, the blue butterfly flew around me two times, landed one more time on the chair and then flew toward the sky and I never saw it again.
That same afternoon, my sister and I went back to Mom’s house. While cleaning up I came across the last gift that someone had brought to her. It was her favorite Lily of the Valley candle. When I took notice of the gift bag that it came in, I couldn’t believe my eyes! The bag’s design was that of blue butterflies!! A little while later I was emptying one of the countless hospital bags that we had brought home and among it’s contents was something that shocked me. I couldn’t imagine why I would have saved this or packed it along with Mom’s belongings. It was a decorative pick that had apparently been part of a floral arrangement sent to Mom at the hospital. To my surprise, it was a silk blue butterfly!!
It was at that moment that I knew that God had allowed my Mother to keep her promise to me. She did, in fact, spend time with me out on the patio on a beautiful day when I returned.
I thank the Lord daily for that incredible gift He gave me that day....the beautiful blue butterfly, and for everyday of my life that I had with my Mother.
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